Indigo Irwin Kennedy
Is my pen name

Indigo reminds me to stay balanced.
Irwin is to honor my Daughter
Kennedy is to honor my Mother.

The three names together create,
for me, a powerful reminder to stay balanced between heaven and earth.

Enjoy the Journey
Indigo

(New Window will open upon clicking link below - choose open or save it to your computer file: mp3 461 kb)

Listen to message from the Author

The Present
What do I feel my passion is today? – my passion is to rid the world of the injustice of discrimination against those intelligent and creative souls that ride the waves between ecstasy and depression. Affectionately named -The Wave Riders.

It is my goal to create acceptance of a different type of personality, a perfectly normal personality, that requires certain rules of balance and breathing to maintain maximum creativity while avoiding the depths of depression.

It is my goal to teach The Wave Riders (that have developed the ability to trigger an adrenaline response within their bodies) the ability to calm the surge of energy while maintaining their creative levels and a more consistent mood. It is my goal to show that this is not disease, this is not disorder...this is evolution created by societies desire to continually motivate without balance. The old spiritual belief..."that you have unlimited energy" has not been curbed with "that must be balanced". Today, hundreds of Wave Riders from Singapore, to Germany, from Australia to the USA and Canada are wakening up to a new point of view.

The Past
I was raised in a home where religion was not mentioned other than God, who was something we were angry at. As I grew older, I became curious and I asked myself, "What is it that I believe?".

I pondered this question and in my mind I observed the many miracles that had happened in my life. A knowing kind of feeling came to my mind and filled my heart. I just knew at that moment and deep inside, that there existed a higher level of knowledge and understanding. Sometimes, we call this energy God or Father or Universal Spirit.

It is my belief, that we are cared for and loved, combined with a new view of what is happening with my changing energy levels that has helped me to win the battle with depression. In my heart, I know that our soul is never damaged and only observes our experience. I have learned to move with the flow of what is universally shown to me, and rather than demanding that the universe alter to my desires and plans. It is knowing, that when I feel fear, I have lost faith, that stops me from worrying about problems and lets me get on with finding solutions.

In the book I discuss some of the childhood experiences that I endured living with a bipolar mother and again to witness the repeating of the "curse" and suffer myself as a bipolar mother. While writing the book, I did not want to bring up the events of my childhood - not because I did not want to experience the pain again, but because I felt I was finished with the lessons I needed to learn from my childhood experiences.

I have included them in the book simply to provide a greater understanding of the events that led me to find a way out. I do not want to degrade the image of my mother nor to blame her for anything that I am responsible for doing. I understand her and I will always love her. She was a wonderful woman who did not have the answers that I have today.

Moving Forward

I have not wanted to shout that I have suffered from depression because I no longer wish to give depression any of my life energy. Though it is sometimes easier to sit back and say that I am depressed today and feel that I have good reason not to participate in life, in the end, the fight back is not worth the day off. There is no comfort in the giving up.

I am done with depression. I am finished giving into it. This does not mean that it is done with me. The old habits return as soon as I try to do too much or I focus on the negative. Break my personal rules and I can be back viewing the world in gray again. When that happens - I don't take it too seriously. I laugh at the foolishness of my overwork and I give myself some TLC.

We usually forget that sadness will end. If you fall back into depression, you will think that this is how you are and will be forever. Just keep telling yourself that it is not true. The bleak world you see is a delusion brought about by the burn out of your previous activities. Depression does end and you are not this thing or this feeling. Do not take falling into depression as a personal failure. Learn to honor yourself and learn to treat yourself better. Learn to cherish your down time as much as you do the "high" ride.

It is difficult to find what we enjoy if we have for many years made decisions and chosen career paths out of fear. When we choose out of fear we frequently fail and this can undermine our confidence.

Wave Riders often suffer financial difficulties along with their emotional struggles. These problems get worse when we get stuck in self-blame rather than continuing to find solutions. Learn to ride the emotional waves, learn to make decisions from the mid-wave, learn to push away thoughts that do not add value to your life, and you begin to end the cycle of struggle. We learn to make our life decisions from a more balanced mind.

When we know what it is we want in our lives, we then need to learn how to "stick with it" in faith, not allowing the negativity and doubt to stop us. Do not allow any of your negative thoughts to reside in your mind. When you hear yourself doubting - explain to yourself that the negative thought has never helped you in the past and that it is not longer welcome here. Eventually, it will get the message. You must do this at the first sign of feeling tired or hearing yourself think negatively. If you do not catch the negativity as soon as it begins, then you will slip deeper into depression; a place more difficult to return from.

Recently, I looked at an article with Bipolar Disorder written across the header and I had a deep feeling that the description no longer fit who I was. I felt distance, no longer consumed by a dark monster that had control over my emotions.

I am more and more convinced that we are not diseased and damaged, but that we are creative and intelligent people that simple did not know how to "Ride the Waves". When we learn how to ride our emotional energy waves, depression fades away and you become more successful in relationships, careers and finances.

I have today what I never thought possible and what I want to share with readers ....the discovery of joy and peace.

Beyond the mind, around the heart, fill the soul.
Remember to take care of yourself a little each day.

Indigo